Don't Make Michael's Mistake: Choosing the Right Guardian for your Children

Katherine Jackson is 82 years old.
Diana Ross is 68 years old (with a history of drug and alcohol abuse)
Prince Michael I, Paris, and Prince Michael II are ages 15 to 10. 

Katherine would be 90 years old when Price Michael II reaches the age of maturity and Diana Ross would be 76.  Life expectancy for African-American women is 77.5 years.

Does this make anyone else nervous? It sure makes me nervous.  What makes me nervous is that people “forget” to ask the person they appoint in their Will as guardian whether they would be “up” for the job.  Diana Ross' comment that she would step in if she "had to" suggests that she may have never wanted to end up raising someone else's children (she already raise 5 of her own and Katherine Jackson raised 10 of her own). 

Often a starting place for many clients when selecting a guardian for their minor children is a parent (i.e.: the grandparent).  Generally, grandparents love their grandchildren and would do anything for them, but that does not mean that they will be appropriately equipped to step in as guardian of your children if you meet an untimely death.  This is a good starting place, but you need to ask your parent(s) whether he/she/they would be up for being the sole custodial guardian of your children.  Are your parents healthy?  Do they have grand retirement plans that would be thwarted by the sudden need to raise children...again? Would your children be able to remain in the same schools, church, activities if they were raised by your parents?

You need to always always always appoint a back-up guardian in case the person you appoint as the primary guardian is unable or unwilling to fulfill the duties of guardian.  The person you select as guardian does not need to be young, but they need to be ready, able and willing to provide your child with the same moral, intellectual, and social support that you would provide.  Also, I generally advise against appointing a married couple as co-guardians in this day-and-age of 50/50 chance of divorce; choose the one person, not a couple. 

Did you notice that I did not say anything about the guardian needing to be the right person to manage your children's finances?  That is because sometimes (rarely, but it does happen) the physical guardian and the financial custodian are not and/or should not be the same person. 

Before meeting with your attorney, make a list of 3-4 people whom you would want to raise your children if you die before they reach the age of maturity.  Make a pro/con list for each candidate and discuss this list with your lawyer to help yourself determine who is the right choice for your children's emotional, spiritual, intellectual, and financial needs.  (And don't forget to talk to an insurance agent  about ensuring your have sufficient life insurance coverage).